Monday, 1 December 2014

Say no to bullying

A must see video with a powerful poem about bullying written by Shane Koyczan because of his experience with violence in schools.




New Zealand is a great country to bring up children as the environment is fantastic for kids. At school there is holistic education; It is not only about academics but they learn about the arts,sports,outdoor education, drama and more. There is however one thing I find difficult to cope with. This is the high percentage of bullying as you can see here. As I  helped out at school a lot in the past, I have heard about it and seen it happening.

One mum told me that her child was not allowed to play with the other children. Her child tried to find a connection but  then one child started to spread a rumour through the school that her child had a contagious decease. This resulted in everyone running away from the child when he approached and he also got physically hurt. The mother went to the teacher but nothing was done. The  police came to the school to raise awareness about bullying  and the mother of one of the bullies went to the teacher and told her that the bullying towards the child had to stop as she learned that her own child was bullying. This was very courageous of the mother. The result was that the bullying stopped and the child who was bullied was suddenly included. Every one learned from this.

I do think the schools are trying more and more to stop bullying but it is a difficult task. As you learn from the poem in the above video it is very important to keep working on it.

There are different reasons for bullying; Lack of empathy, the child has been bullied themselves and as a result of authoritarian parenting with high use of controlling and punitive discipline or simply like he said in the video; because we are afraid of our own abandonment.
It is not easy to change these influences. What can be done though is to make sure there is a no-tolerance towards bullying. I think however that it is even more important to teach children how bullying effects others. I always tell the children I work with, that they have to treat each other with respect. When they use harsh language towards someone else I stop them straight away. Exclusion of children isn't allowed.  Problems don't disappear overnight but we keep working on it.

I think social and emotional development should be a taught at school. Especially in this computer era where children get less practise in social interaction. Philosophy would also be on my wish list so children learn to question things and not blindly follow the crowd.
We all can however play a role. By being respectful and tolerant to others we will be great role models and we will change the world one step at the time.


13 comments:

  1. Wow … that IS a POWERFUL message in the video! I am glad you shared it. You are so right EMPATHY (not sympathy) is something the entire globe needs to learn … if not from our parents then certainly at school.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 40 years ago I had a class of 30 ten -years- old pupils. They all were bullying two of the girls. The mother of one of them told me about it. I told the class about it and ask each of the bullies to write a story about being bullied themselves, trying to imagine how it felt and what to do about it. The two victims of bullying were to write about themselves being the bullies. Every pupil wrote a story, after this the bullying stopped.
    Thanks for your post. Have a great week, Marya
    Wil, ABCW Team.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great job I think when people become aware of what they do it makes a great difference

      Delete
  3. I was bullied in school, and I even took my turn as a bully later on. Be assured that I am not defending when it gets way out of hand, but bullying is just part of the preparation for adulthood. After all, are we not often buffeted by mean people in business and/or simply walking around in a busy store? Learning how to handle oneself in tough situations is all part of growing up. On the other hand, when the bullying gets out of hand, the bullies should get smacked down hard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that we have to learn to stand up for ourselves. However to stand up against bullies is very difficult as most victims don't have the physical, emotional or verbal self defence skills to deal with bullying. Often bullies operate in groups which makes it
      even harder. Do you learn from it. I don't think so You might learn to treat other people like the bully treated you which doesn't make the world a better place. Most children and adults get long term emotional problems like being expressed in the video.
      That it happens everywhere doesn't make it right.
      I think that people like the teacher above your comment make a difference by teaching empathy. We can make a difference by teaching emotional and social skills, by teaching everyone how to resolve conflict with dialogue, by teaching people to think for themselves and not following aggressive people. It is a slow process but is better than accepting the status quo :)

      Delete
  4. Kiaora maja, To love just...Give him/her wings to fly.
    ...Give him/her roots to stand.
    ...Give him/her a reason to return. Kiaora ra.Reita.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful wise words Reita Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marja, you've raised such important points - the need for people (not only kids) to be more aware in their social interactions (the internet and social media seems to have destroyed common courtesy - Mr/Ms Anonymous often descends into bullying and/or cruelty when commenting!) And, of course, too many school programmes, no matter where the country, tend to teach blind obedience rather than critical/philosophical thinking, I suppose what's importnat is for us, as adults, to live with integrity in both the way we use the internet and how we think and choose to act - lead by example, so the future generations can learn coping mechanismns for a world this is becoming increasingly alienated and solipsistic.
    Judy Croome, South Africa : Words in the Hands of Love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Judy for your wise words I agree and feel sorry for the younger generation living such an insecure and as you said alienated way although they don't know any better. I see so many young people struggle but indeed also adults lost track
      and don't realise the importance of connectedness, which happens when there is integrity, empathy etc

      Delete
  7. Hi Marja,

    Sorry I haven't visited, I have done other things and not visited you. How are you. Ann

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ann Thanks for visiting I am very good I feel the older I get I notice more and more how blessed I am

      Delete
  8. Thank you Marja for bringing this awareness and the video.. I agree Bullying is a great problem in schools.. My Son was bullied in school all because he had ginger hair.. Sad that children can be so cruel and vindictive too.. Awareness is brought to light more so today as many now if they do not bully in school, do so via the social media networks which here in the UK has resulted in several children committing suicide .. It is very tragic when it gets to the stage someone is so desperate that they take their own life..
    Many thanks for your post Marja.. I hope as Children grow they learn its far better to be friends and help each other out rather than single some one out ..
    Much love.. Sue xxx

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comment