Thursday, 24 November 2011

Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational New Words Contest

Our chicken keeps on escaping from the chicken coup and she is never more than a meter away from the cat. That's about the distance the cat will allow. "Can I have any peace?" she asks

2011 is about one of the busiest years in my life and one with the most upheavals. I try to keep my blog running though because I know times will change and I will get time again for writing poetry and articles which I love so much. What we need in times like these is lots of laughs and here is one which worked for me:

Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational New Words Contest
Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dope-ler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. Negligent , adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence+, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

16 comments:

  1. you have posted a real wiener. . .
    i mean winner.

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  2. we must have ESP, last Sunday, I went for a walk in my neighbourhood, I found not too far from me, people were keeping chicken.

    I went and took photos today. about 8 of them.

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  3. My Christmas in the park were last year's .

    We have this small one this Sunday. The big one, usu hosted by coca cola is in Dec.

    You will have one despite the earthquake?

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  4. Hi Marja .. I wonder how many Americans will be Flabbergasted today?!

    We do what we can when we can don't we .. cheers for now - Hilary

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  5. Spock the Cat here at my house has a girlfriend who lives down the street. Spock demands to be let outside more and more and I often see his girlfriend looking inside my house from the backdoor with the big window.

    Cashtration

    That's my favorite.

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  6. Ah, humor like that will see you through.

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  7. A chicken, a cat, and a laugh. Thanks Marja; we all need to lighten up at this time of year when things get so busy.

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  8. wow! that's some words! i smiled at circumvent....reminded me of circumsision haha. Happy thanksgiving Marja, blog world is always better with you in it. Lots of love and hugs...MK

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  9. Very good. Love the cat pic too.

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  10. Hilarious, Marja, absolutely! Thank you for making me laugh and laugh and laugh. Wonderful!

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  11. This one made me laugh - thanks!

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  12. Love these! I couldn't stop laughing at the #5 adjective. Hysterical.

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  13. I loved that chicken/cat pic, Marja!

    It reminds me of some black-white cats I've known.

    Also, thanks for the contest notice.

    Susan

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