Tuesday, 12 February 2008

The second change

The prompt for writers Island this week was changed. I waved it in the final piece of my short story. Although it's difficult to keep it short.

Part 1. The photographer Part 2. Prima Ballerina Anna Part 3. The second change

Elisa loved the view when they were driving down the mountain. They just went through the pass of the Northern Alps which bordered Movanie. Now a green patched land was stretching out in front of her. Soon they were driving on a long lane lined with waving tall trees. They still had to drive for an hour but time went fast because Elisa and Nicola could get along very well. The plan was to stay in the city of Lodia in a hotel and the next day they would be picked up by one of the Bovians who would bring them to their settlement. “Just wear something comfortable” said Nicola to Elisa, at night in the Hotel “You know they will feel estranged from us if we turn up all dressed up” “Since the King died they were left to themselves and became poor” “Also because they were discriminated by the Movans. The Movans spread all bad rumours about the Gypsies. “Really? Said Elisa. She suddenly felt a knot in her stomach. All the time she had thought of it as a big adventure but she hadn’t realised that it would not all be fun. “What if we try to get some of the traditional clothes, in the morning, you think that would be good? “Elisa asked. Yes, good idea” said Nicola. The next morning the ladies went out shopping and in a second hand store they found some beautiful Gypsy dresses. At the Hotel they changed themselves and danced around in it in front of the mirror. “Oh I wish I could dance like that Anna girl, Elisa sighted, “did you know that I often choreograph dance steps in my head when I hear some music. The truth is though that I am as uncoordinated as a drunk donkey. “Interesting ” laughed Nicola, “but don’t worry they will teach you”. And that was exactly what happened when they had arrived. A big party was organized. The people were all dancing on the ritme of the guitars. Elisa was trilled when she saw how elated these people were even though they lived in bad circumstances. She decided there and than to help them. She was disappointed though that nobody had known who Mark was but the next day they would meet an old Gypsy who was a fortuneteller. That kept her hopes up. “Sit down please” said the old Gypsy with the bandanna around her head” “I’ve to tell you something. An important day for us all has come. When the king was dying about a hundred years ago, he had a vision that one day a new king would stand up. He would marry a girl with dark long hair and together they would make the bovians strong again” "What happened back than is that the people expected that the man you have seen on the picture with Anna was thought to be the new King" the fortuneteller continued, " They found out that he was actually a son of the King. The King had saved his mother from some thieves who destroyed villages. He had brought her in safety and had spent the night with this beautiful girl. He had to go back to fulfill his duties though and never knew about the child. The name of the child was Mario. Just before Mario wanted to marry Anna he told her that he was going to be the new King. His mum had told him. Anna had passed on to her boss naively that she was going to marry a king. The boss informed the authorities. They were afraid and brought him over the border and he never saw her again and you know already what happened to her." Everybody was shocked that the vision had not come true and they gave up hope. Now a few months back Mark had come to the village. He seemed to be the grand grand son of Mario and looked exactly like him. Mario had married somebody else, but Mark is stil carrying the blood of the King. The minute he walked in here I knew he was going to be the new king” The vision would come true. He just had to find you and you first had to learn everything from Nicola."

"But why do I look like Anna and were is Mark. “Here I am” whispered Mark. He stood suddenly behind her. Eliza fell nearly of her chair. "Mark how did you get here?" she stuttered . “I came back here after I found you to wait here for you, just as I was asked to do" Mark said "The fortuneteller said you looked like Anna, that's how I could find you” laughed Mark,"the rest remains a mystery. Do you want to stay here with me? “asked Mark hopeful. "Yes, sighted Elisa and he took her hands. That night everybody danced till deep in the night. Elisa’s life had changed completely.

The end


  1. When comes the first complete book?

  2. I had to laugh at the part about "uncoordinated as a drunk donkey." That conjures up a wonderful picture. Loved the ending. Nice!

  3. A wonderful trilogy of pieces. So what's your next short story to be about?

  4. Ah, how neat...a very readable tale!

  5. That was beautiful Marja, as a hopeless romantic I really enjoyed it.

  6. I love this.
    Very well done Marja.

  7. OK, once I got to the photo of "Mark" I remember nothing else.

  8. I agree...When comes the first complete book? I would buy it...but please in german too ;O)!

  9. Thanks Rambler
    and Bert

    Thanks Billy That's how I feel sometimes an uncoordinated donkey

    Probably not one for a while Keith I am pretty busy at the moment

    Happy you liked it tumblewords

    Thanks Little wing

    I am a hopeless romantic as well Gypsy

    Thanks Steve I hoped you like it

    The man on that photo is Jhonny Dep. He plays a gypsy in the movy the man who cried. One of my favourite movies

    Thanks Steffie. My german is not that good though

  10. You craft a story together very well indeed.
    Excellent piece.

  11. oh, i loved your trilogy...very romantic, very hopeful, very sexy...oh la la! i enjoyed reading this so much i wondered where my "mark" was.....


  12. hehe. Your uncoordinated donkey made me laugh, too! Interesting and creative way you are doing the weekly prompts.

  13. This piece is so ready for publication. Great story telling, great setting and plot, interesting character.

    You brought us there and we become part of the spectators.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

  14. truly romantic, Marja. Loved it.

  15. A wonderful, romantic story, Marja!

  16. Ya! the end of the story! Thanks for finishing it, I hate it when I have to put a good book down. I couldn't wait to get this part! :D


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