Saturday, 18 June 2011

Christchurch earthquake Pie parody

Found in a local newspaper:

Many thanks to Dave for this joke
Gerry Brownlee walked into a bakery to get a steak pie. There were none left so the baker went out the back for fresh ones. On the way back he dropped the tray on the floor and some of the pies were damaged. "Sorry. We might be able to fix your pie. I'll ring P.I.S.S. - the Pie integrity and Structure Service. They'll be here in three hours.

"Why so long?" asked Gerry. "Normally only one pie is involved when we have an accident but this is an whole tray. It's the largest pie disaster in the Southern Hemisphere. Patience is required. Please take a seat and wait" Three and a half hours later two inspectors in fluorescent jackets arrived. Gerry asked, "What's the verdict on my steak pie?"

"Sorry. I'll call for someone to call and look at your pie. They'll be here in two hours. Please take a seat and wait." Gerry waited. After an hour he asked the baker if he could use the toilet. "I'm afraid not. You'd have to pass the pies to get there. Here's a bucket. Empty it outside when you are done."
"That's disgusting" "Don't worry. You'll get used to it." Two hours passed before the same two P.I.S.S. workers from earlier returned. "What's going on? yelled Gerry. "We've come to inspect your pie. We got the job sheet when we arrived back at the office, "they said as they finished their inspection. "Sign this and we'll send the rapport out to you".

Gerry waited. Another 3 hours passed before a courier walked in and gave the baker the rapport. "They have graded the pies A, B and C. We can repair the A and the B pies but the C pies are subject to a pastry rapport. If we repair them and the pastry fails it wouldn't be economical. We want our clients' pie equity kept intact. Your pie group is C. That report will take four hours".
Four hours later the head pie man, Master Baker, announced on television that the report was done but it would be another three hours before an interpretive report was finished.

Gerry waited. Two hours and 55 minutes later the baker was picking up the A and B pies for repairing when he slipped and dropped the pies on the floor. Gerry jumped to his feet, eyes glaring. "Don't worry, I'll call P.I.S.S.. They'll treat this as a new incident and will be here shortly to do a report. Please take a seat".


  1. Even though things seem so disheartening, it is refreshing to see that someone can still take the P.I.S.S. out of the situation and make us reflect, "yeah... mmm.." One needs a bit of humour even at the darkest hours.

  2. Pie in the sky, or pie in the face? I enjoyed this.

  3. You OK?

    Did you watch that program on the chef who is modifying the pie.

  4. We have the same waiting periods after a major hurricane. The insurance companies make really nice television commercials about how compassionate and people-oriented they are but when it finally comes to paying off claims its like getting blood from a rock.

  5. That's some metaphor for bureaucratic ineptitude, Marja. I'm sure you see plenty of it in the aftermath of the earthquakes.

  6. Ha,ha ... so much for bureaucracy!
    Thanks for your visit. No we didn't
    live on such a boat. We are Dutch, and as far as I know there are no narrow boats in the Netherlands. We lived in Indonesia because my father worked there.After the war we returned to the Netherlands and my father continued working but with another company. He was a chief engineer with the merchant navy.

  7. Waiting can stretch to forever when bureaucracy becomes more important than the crisis at hand. Sometimes it's just a way to keep busy without accomplishing the necessary tasks. Humor is a good way to expose both the agony and silliness of it all!

  8. Always good to see the fun in really bad circumstances ;-)

  9. Sending you and all in Chch, healthy and loving vibes.

  10. What a frightening experience. I lived in San Francisco for ten years and experienced many little earthquakes, but not a large one. I hope people can get help quickly but it is true that every bureaucracy in the world is super slow. Thanks for coming to my blog.

  11. Sometimes humor is a good way to help relieve stress, and bureaucarcy is a great target.

    Wishing you well. You must all be so emotionally worn out!

  12. Nog even over de "narrow boats"Die zijn echt Engels in bleven alleen op de Engelse rivieren vracht vervoeren, maar in Nederland heb je
    de Rijnaken die groter zijn en naar Duitsland, Zwitserland en Franrijk varen met hun vracht. Jouw oom gaf waarschijnlijk les op het schippersinternaat waar de leerplichtige schipperskinderen verbleven. Ik had een vriendin die daar werkte en later met een schipper trouwde en dus op zo'n aak woonde.

  13. Round and round in circles we go....

    And we know why there has been no decision about which parts of the city must be abandoned - they are waiting until Thursday so that John Key will be in Christchurch and the perfect photo opportunity to make the announcement. That man has such an ego. Why does he always travel with body guards - even in parliament? It is sickening that the mess is being politicised and people are still waiting for just a simple yes or no so they can get on with their lives.

  14. Humor helps!

    Margie x
    PS: I was sure I commented on this, hope you get this one.

  15. Yes,I agree ...humor can help!


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