Photo by GT Paris for flash fiction for aspiring writers
“Look Kayaks! let’s take them." “They might be from some
tourists?” said Ella
“Ella, Worry about them later. You won’t survive another week here.” He was right. She was malnourished and hurt.
Two weeks ago, they were over the moon. They went to a bar and a man, called Pete talked to them. He offered them a trip to his island on a luxury yacht. The next morning, they set out early. Pete sailed the boat into a narrow inlet. He told them to hop off and follow the path. He would come in a minute.
Suddenly two men grabbed them and pushed them forwards towards a work camp. They were held for two weeks and had to work in the heat on the land day after day.
Luckily Ella had some cash in her pocket and paid one of the guards to look the other way so they could escape. They succeeded.They jumped in the kayaks and paddled away.
161 words
“Ella, Worry about them later. You won’t survive another week here.” He was right. She was malnourished and hurt.
Two weeks ago, they were over the moon. They went to a bar and a man, called Pete talked to them. He offered them a trip to his island on a luxury yacht. The next morning, they set out early. Pete sailed the boat into a narrow inlet. He told them to hop off and follow the path. He would come in a minute.
Suddenly two men grabbed them and pushed them forwards towards a work camp. They were held for two weeks and had to work in the heat on the land day after day.
Luckily Ella had some cash in her pocket and paid one of the guards to look the other way so they could escape. They succeeded.They jumped in the kayaks and paddled away.
161 words
Interesting take on the prompt :-)
ReplyDeleteClick Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
Interesting idea. It would be a bit easier to read and understand characters with if you add some spacing in the lines. Good tension here, space it out and make the brain pause ass it happens
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip Mark. I added some spaces
DeleteHi Marja - well done - good story ... one wonders about the island. Another story another day! Cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteLovely story, so good those kayaks were there, haha.
ReplyDeleteA lot of story in a few words Marja. Would love to read more about the island and the work camp - who was running it and what for? Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou did very good with story
ReplyDeletethank God for the kayak that they could make their escape. Interesting story about the island , its captured labourers and finally the escape.
ReplyDeletehttp://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/08/life-boats.html
Lucky escape , indeed . Thank God for the cash on her . Nice story, Maria .
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of LOST. They get to escape only in a cruel twist get captured again. The Island will never let them out :D Well written, Marja
ReplyDeleteClick to read about the last men on earth
Nicely done! You put a lot of information in a tight package.
ReplyDeleteWow! That guy is a crooked slave dealer. Enjoyed the story.
ReplyDelete