The prompt for What's going on is to write a poem about loneliness without using the words "lonely" or "alone.
Opening Doors to Echoes
She spills the lemons in the supermarket.
Blue eyes radiating sweetness,
picking up the pieces for her.
It warms her heart
She has enough fuel now,
to get through the day.
Days filled with the tick tock of a clock
Her skin is like dried fruit
her mind waves of haze and clarity
She gazes at the traffic,
at people,
a movie in which she moves slowly
she tries to catch up,
her breath slowing her down
Her age hangs like an old jacket
in a hall of forgotten sleeves.
She loves to dream
of the orchards of the past,
ghosts of a time when sweetness
grew in abundance.
She murmurs to herself,
opening doors to echoes
that still know her name.
Beautifully written and terribly sad....Rall
ReplyDeleteWOW! I love this so much! Especially "Her age hangs like an old jacket in a hall of forgotten sleeves." How perfect that is. And her skin like dried fruit. Wonderful writing.
ReplyDeleteI love your description of the coat - and all your story-showing (not telling!) throughout. You really took us into the photo emotionally - Jae
ReplyDeleteHi Jae. Yes, we slowly adapt, but never completely when there is a missing soul close to us. Nicely said.
ReplyDeleteThat was me, Jim
ReplyDelete"Her age hangs like an old jacket
ReplyDeletein a hall of forgotten sleeves."
A unique image/simile for forays into the past. There's a sense that she will find her sweetness, though, because of how easily she finds fuel to get through the day. Only in between will she be lonely.
This is beautiful and very touching 💙 And the photo adds to the depth.
ReplyDeleteWe had an apartment in the city
ReplyDeleteAnd me and Loretta liked living there
Well, it'd been years since the kids had grown
A life of their own
And left us alone...Hello in There by john Prine.
Beautiful and sad reflection on old age, Marja. Loneliness in old age is a universal, widespread problem, especially so in our "civilised" western society... (Thanks for your comment, and yes, the poem is set in Amsterdam!)
ReplyDeleteMarja, this is really stunning! It really portays loneliness without using the word. So many wonderful images. I was going to quote the phrase that Susan and Sherry quoted, as that one really struck me. I am glad, however, that at least she has orchards of the past to dream about!
ReplyDeleteHow beautifully you've portrayed the old soul! She is loneliness personified yet with an aura of sweetness.
ReplyDelete