Kidscorner

Tuesday 16 October 2007

Message in a bottle


Message in a bottle
A bottle drifting off
Playing hide and seek
in the waves until
softly colliding with the sand

Reflecting sunlight sparkles
touching his eyes
awaken him from a world
of memories and missed opportunities
to the empty horizon of today

He than catches the mysterious
message in a bottle, reading:

Dear God,
Mum says dad is far away
so far we can't go there
Tell him I was angry
but I do love him
Give me a sign that he is ok
Love, Billy
Aroha town
A tear colouring the ink
painting his heart and his horizon
 in vibrant new colours
A postcard arrives reading:
Dear Billy,
Whatever happened
your dad loves you very much
He is doing well
A messenger from God
Leaving the door behind
the man drove to a future
including his family
 returning the value to where it belongs

28 comments:

  1. Hey--well done.I found this prompt really difficult--you have written beautifully.

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  2. you have realy a great talent sis, I didn't know that you are so good with this. like it very much. succes.

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  3. Nice poem but if I read the title of your posting I have to think on the movie : Message in a bottle; it is a romantic movie with Paul Newman. I really need to watch this movie again.

    I think you deserve an award for your blog.

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  4. Marja, This post is one reason I love to visit this blog. This is so touching. Simply beautiful. I really enjoyed it.

    Thanks,

    Ann

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  5. extremely well done, I am just wondering which one he liked the best the first message or the second one.

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  6. Ohhh Marija, that is so beautiful, if only it was that easy, Thank You!

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  7. i love poems and this one is great. not everyone can create poem. ;0)

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  8. This made me cry. Good stuff Marja.

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  9. What a lovely idea, sweetly expressed! If only.....

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  10. Thanks PS

    Bert I just discovered it myself but still have a lot to learn. Thanks though

    Thanks and Nice day to you too Rebicmel

    Yeh when I read the prompt I got the song from Police stuck in my head

    Thanks Ann

    Rambler thanks the second one was written by him

    Thanks Herb Urban

    I know Redness It is a bit of wishfull thinking but miracles do happen

    I am honered reign

    Thanks you dear Robin

    I know Jo. But I created awareness to raise awareness.

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  11. That was lovely, full of hope, I am sure Billy would forever be thankful..superb.

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  12. what a lovely basis for a further story... loved it

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  13. God does exist for forelone boys...

    Very well depicted.

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  14. That's a very sweet story and lovely poem. It's beautiful when strangers step in to help another stranger - the bounty of human kindness and goodness. Thanks for this.

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  15. when you have people read this a few times to truly absorb your words, you know your writing is something that touches ours hearts..
    peace, kai

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  16. Astonishing. Truly wondeful. This one should be put up in lights. Congratulations Marja

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  17. What a poignant, yet lovely - take on the prompt!

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  18. marja, well done indeed... You caught it perfectly.....

    love-bd

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  19. Oh, I agree! Loved it. Very nicely done. I could feel the little jolt of settling the bottle did.

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  20. Howdy Marja! This is a Meme Tag!

    Don't be afraid, this one's easy - I'm not asking you to come up with a list of a bunch of stuff or anything like that. In fact, you'll like this one: it's all about Advertizing Your Blog!

    A bunch of us blog-types are putting this meme together to spread our blogs around to a humongous audience. I'd like you to participate so you can see your blog spread throughout the Known Universe!

    Check out this post and read the instructions, and you can decide if you'd like to advertize a little. No pressure, though - just thought you might like to join in.

    Have a nice day!

    -Baba Doodlius

    P.S. Cool poem. I wish I could do that.

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  21. Hey Girl, I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Candied Apple Award in addition to the Community Blogger award. Congrats!

    Ann

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  22. Ah, how beautifully written. Poignant, perfect.

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  23. ul, Billy was very thankful

    Paisley thanks maybe one day

    Gautami, yes especially for loneboys

    Paris parfait Yes there is nothing better than that thanks

    Kaibluecreations wow what a lovely comment

    Keith I am blushing

    Thanks Tinker

    Beloved dreamer what a dream comment

    A little jolt of settling. Mary Timme another poem is born

    Thanks Baba but Mel already offered it. You should try poetry. Birds can do that too ;)

    Ann you overwelm me.

    Hi Jen nice to meet you here thanks

    tumblewords You tumble me with your words

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  24. Marja, this is so lovely and gentle and sad. You do a wonderful job of carrying the reader along with the poem like the bottle softly bobbing in the ocean. Like many others, this made me cry a little, but in a good way. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece.

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  25. It would have been easy to read the message an forget, however the strangers compassion shown through, giving hope to us all. Well Done! Thank you for such a compassionate prose.

    Scott

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  26. Marja....that was beautiful and touching. Bravo!

    I couldn't wrap my head around this prompt, so decided to take a pass. I'm glad you didn't! Your offering to the writers island is wonderful.

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Thank you!!