Friday, 30 May 2008

If you love something set it free

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. Richard Bach

If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

THE ORIGINAL VERSION: If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was yours....
THE PESSIMIST VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.
THE OPTIMIST VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
THE IMPATIENT VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she doesn't comes back within some time limit, forget her.
THE PATIENT VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
THE PLAYFUL VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat
THE LAWYER'S VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free... Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
THE BILL GATES VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free... If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION:: If you love somebody, Set her free... If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.
THE POSSESSIVE VERSION: If you love somebody don't ever set her free.
THE MBA VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... instantaneously... and look for others simultaneously.
THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... If she comes back, her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans. If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
THE MARKETING VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... If she comes back, she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

Ah loved this. But now on a serious note We do not possess anyone in this world. We are inclined to control others lifes and I still do so very much in my childrens life because I think I know what's good for them. I work hard to let them be their own person though as well, because that's when they blossom, but it is so hard to let them go and let them make their own mistakes.

I love the school were they are going because they are trusted to develop and choose their own path , which is a lifeskill in itself. (I still push my son to do literacy and math however because I think that these are lifeskills as well )

In general I think I do not too bad because I am from a family of stubborn strongwilled people who set themselves free anyway and therefore respect others freedom. It comes with a price however. Because we are not easily following others we not easily fit in. Fitting in was what I worked on for a long time, till I discovered that I was losing my freedom and myself. Now it is the other way around, I am more and more myself again.

It is all a struggle and sometimes I get really muddled up in my everyday day problems but than as I read this post I can put everything in perspective again, move on and be greatful. Bob, a kiwi, who is working for a humanitarian organisation and has done some amazing work has asked a difficult question on which I didn't know the answer. Do you? Visit his blog and see if you do!

Have a nice day, Marja


  1. Blimey, Marja! I hope that girl with the balloons is not in the UK. Only this week, a child was fined for releasing a balloon in public - under the Litter Laws! Ahh! Britain today.

  2. I get that whole "fitting in" problem. I am a married introvert, with no children, educated, somewhat cultured and a partial-vegetarian. I find it very difficult to fit in. I don't connect with my peers who have kids, I don't connect with younger people who have different value systems and cultural influences and I don't connect with older people because I don't want to get old yet.
    Perhaps that's why I adapt to the blogging world - the connections can be made without judgment.

    I like your perspective on things, Marja. You must be an easy person to spend time with.


  3. Thanks For the people

    Oh Dickiebo I can't warn her because I googled that picture. Hope she is not in the UK either. Don't they have anything else to do there than fining people with balloons

    Poetikat, the internet is indeed a solution. I don't connect with many people either. The ones I connect with though are in all groups, with or without children
    old or young. Thanks for your nice comment.

  4. We all lose ourselves and our freedom.
    When we try to take it back and find ourselves again others will take offence and we are sometimes put back in our place again.

    There are few who can maintain the fight for freedom of oneself that has been erroded away over time.

  5. These versions are really good; hopefully the optimistic version will work.

    Great to find all these versions and the picture is also very nice.

    Your postings are always interesting to read. Thanks for sharing so much good information.

  6. I have always believed in this statement Marja because I have always believed if something is meant to be...somehow...some will be. If it's not, it won't...Que Sera.

    Great post as always Marja. Hope you are taking good care of yourself.

  7. Steve I totally agree. I don't care much however anymore if people
    turn away from me because I don't "adjust" and therefore it is not a fight anymore. I am not popular but the relations ships I have now are very meaningful.

    Thanks Eric I loved these versions as well

    Thanks Gypsy I do and I yes que sera, sera whatever wil be, that's how you find your destiny.

  8. Kia ora Marja,
    I feel much the same. less and less does "fitting in" seem important to me in any way shape or form, and I find myself asking so many questions and doing things a little differently. Fortunately my wife has embraced this path as well, or even led me down it. I hope out of the struggle and muddle we become better people, truer to our instincts, and maybe in some small way make the world a better place. I am glad to see you directing people to Bob's post. Have a great day Marja!

  9. Ik denk niet dat ik hier in het Engels kan uitleggen wat ik bedoel te zeggen, dus doe ik het in het Nederlands.
    In eerste instantie moest ik glimlachen bij al die variaties op de originele tekst, bij sommige moest ik echt lachen.
    Daarna kwam jouw uitleg over hoe je denkt je kinderen een goede opvoeding te geven, iets waar ze hun verdere leven op kunnen bouwen. Je vecht met hetzelfde probleem als dat wij vroeger deden met onze kinderen. Maar als ik alles even tot mij laat doordringen, dan ben ik ervan overtuigd dat je het prima doet en dat het geweldige mensen gaan worden in deze wereld. Ik heb geleerd in mijn leven dat opvoeding gepaard gaat met je vechtend terugtrekken. Je begrijpt denk ik wel wat ik bedoel. Op een zeker ogenblik slaan de kinderen hun vleugels uit, gaan hun weg en bouwen hun verdere leven op de basis die jullie als ouders hebben gelegd. Het komt dus best goed. Ze gaan hun eigen leven leiden, maar zullen altijd naar je terugkomen. Kijk maar naar de manier waarop jezelf omgaat met je ouders.
    Daarna heb ik de link gevolgd naar Bob's blog en las daar zijn visie op wat er in de wereld gebeurt. Ik begrijp dat hij heel veel van de wereld heeft gezien en dat hij vreselijke dingen heeft meegemaakt voor wat armoede en honger betreft. Maar de vraag hoe je dat oplost is nauwelijks te beantwoorden. Wel vind ik dat in regio's waar de contrasten zo groot zijn tussen rijkdom en armoede dat daar heel veel moet gebeuren. Maar die veranderingen moeten worden aangepakt in die regio's zelf, die kan volgens mij niet worden opgelegd vanuit de Westerse wereld. Ik stel een voorbeeld:
    In landen als Irak, Dubai, Saoedi Arabië, Koeweit en nog meer van die staten heerst enorme rijkdom, bij het walgelijke af. De decadente manier van leven vind ik stuitend, als je iets verder kijkt en de armoede ziet die wordt geleden in eigen en in naburige landen. Moeten de westerse landen dan inzamelingen gaan houden om die arme bevolking te voeden, van huizen en kleding te voorzien? Ik zeg in eerste instantie JA, dat moeten we. Maar er zal toch enorme druk uit de hele wereld moeten komen om die betreffende regeringen te laten inzien dat zij de eerst verantwoordelijken zijn. Maar de vraag hoe je dat doet? Daar weet ik ook geen antwoord op. Goeie genade wat een lang antwoord :-)

  10. for the people I would like to post everyday but don't have the time. Once every 4 days suites me well and sometimes ore often

    You have said that in a beautiful way Rob. You are lucky that your wife is on a same journey. It is nice to travel together. My husband is nice but is not on any journey.

    Lieve Herman, je hebt zo gelijk maar het is een gevecht en als moeder blijf je je altijd zorgen maken
    Wat betreft de rijkdom en armoede ben ik het ook helemaal met je eens. Het is niet zo'n gek idee om met alemaal de handen in elkaar te slaan en druk uitoefenen op de landen die meer dan overvloed hebben. De vraag is echter hoe oefen je druk uit. Je kunt ze ermee confronteren, maar dan moeten ze zelf nadenken en een beslissing nemen. Het is vaak het probleem dat degene die het meeste hebben relatieve gzien het minste af willen geven. Ik heb mensen ontmoet die bijna niets hadden en dat beetje toch delen met anderen.
    Het is inderdaad moeilijk op te lossen. Bedankt voor je gedachten

  11. I love this post! And they do put everything in perspective.

  12. Low self-esteem version: If you love someone set her free. If she returns, run away from her, as she obviously does not have good judgement.

  13. Great post again,Marja! I agree too!


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