Magaly from Poets and Storytellers United invites us to write about “muscle memory”.
I don't have much of that because of dyspraxia So I spread some awareness.
Dyspraxia is an inability to plan coordinated movements. The praxis of the brain tells the muscles which ones to tense and which to relax to perform a task. Now these messages are not coming through properly. When my body doesn’t know what to do, there is not much feedback for the muscle memory in the brain.
When I did a Tai Chi class a while ago, I heavily relied on watching the others
and copying them. Now as I don’t always know what my body is doing and my short-term memory is compromised as well, this is not fool
proof.
So, on a bad dyspraxic day, it is sometimes better to throw in the towel or just
do my own little dance. lol
It's thought the extra concentration needed to perform everyday tasks can cause fatigue, and many with the condition describe feeling frequently exhausted.
Things get better when you are older, and you also learn to accommodate for it.
Dyspraxia
Walking and talking together
tugs me into a slanted line
Thoughts in tatters on stained paper
Fingers getting lost on the keyboard
Being floppy and slow as a sloth
Scarce muscle memory
Sitting up straight a drudgery
My body a lost battleship
bumping into breaking waves
till tired wood drifts drunkenly
Dyspraxia hangs around me
like an invisible ghost
I can’t shake if off
But even if frustration
leaks from all my pores
It made me resourceful
It made me break through walls
Gave me the willpower of a warrior
It made me return to the world
to drink in the light
which blurs the edges
of flowers in twilight
to inhale the smell
of the warming earth
to sense the magical melodies
which makes you dance
even if you were not supposed to
Marja Blom
Hi Marja - happy birthday for yesterday (I think) ... but I do hope you're enjoying life - despite the dyspraxia. It must be fairly difficult to live with - and here you've explained it perfectly ... I can only think of a rag-doll ... dancing with puppet strings ... take care and best wishes from up here! Cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteThanks I am not quite a ragdoll lol but even sitting up straight cost me a lot of energy. lol
DeleteI had never heard of it until now. You seem to deal with it well!
ReplyDeleteGood! Yes took me a lifetime haha
DeleteThank you, Marja, for enlightening me on dyspraxia. I can relate some with my balance and grasping problems. I blame it on COVID-19 but these seem worse since. I now use a cane when walking to keep me on the sidewalk. And I seem to drop things or knock them off, often on the flour. I have another appointment with a specialist next month. It could be a mild case of Apraxia, dunno.
ReplyDelete..
I don't think it is related to Covid what you experience. The things you mentioned are normal when you are older and I understand you are already quite the senior ;) . Dyspraxia is a neurological disorder which you have all your life. Apraxia has similar symptoms but is caused by brain damage. For example because of a stroke. Now I also have dysnomia; a word finding problem. This is often seen in older people as well. The difference is I had it all my life. Hope that helps
Delete"which makes you dance
ReplyDeleteeven if you were not supposed to..." what a marvellous poem and your positive attitude shines through it- am so glad the resourcefulness is enabling you to "drink in the light"... appreciate your telling us about this and kudos on how you're managing it.
Thank you so much
DeleteA beautifully written piece which gives the reader a peep through the curtains into the window of your soul. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteI love the line about a lost battleship bumping around in waves and how is follows you like a ghost. I have to do my own thing too because I have dyscalculia, so I can't copy movements easily (beause of the reversal part) but I still dance. All the online definitions say it's a math dyslexia but it's so much more than that, effects visual sequencing and spatial issues. I get lost easily and now there's vertigo, something seperate but an overlapping exasperation.
ReplyDeleteYes I hear you! Learning disabilities have a wide range of issues and often overlap with other LD as well. People only know dyslexia and often in a wrong way. I have linked the word dyspraxia to another page with symptoms. You might recognize some more. Not fun isn't it
DeleteMuscle forgetfulness, you might say! I'm surprised to learn this about you, Marja, as you always come across as positive, energetic and competent. Well, I guess those things are not incompatible with dyspraxia, come to think of it. I had not heard of this condition either; thank you for sharing that with us. And yes, wonderful poem!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Mission completed lol I don't mind anymore that I am clumsy. When we walked one day in the bush we had to climb over and under trees. No problem for the others. I was hanging from them like a monkey, swaying and stumbling. It was funny. I am after that in overload but have the time to relax afterwards. I am lucky
DeleteYou have an amazing attitude. Very inspiring. Thank you for sharing this disorder and how you cope with it. Keep on dancing!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the entire poem--your intro, too--but I LOVE second stanza extra much. That mixture of acceptance and defiance is the best of motivators. Our bodies might not cooperate all the time, but life is still good when we adapt, overcome, and keep on dancing (even if a tad wobbly).
ReplyDeleteLove, love, LOVE!
Thank you, thank you for an informative post .. for describing the uplifting and positive way in which you manage the disability. I am thoroughly impressed. Brava!!
ReplyDeleteI like the optimism and acceptance that flows beautifully through the poem
ReplyDeleteleaks from all my pores
ReplyDeleteIt made me resourceful
It made me break through walls
Love your great fight back Marja! Your poem is perfect! We wouldn't know otherwise! it is good that you provide a way against it and it is a success in fact!
Hank
I had never heard of this disability before. Your description of it, proves the courage,
ReplyDeleteand skill you have.
I have never heard of this either. Does it affect you when you go on walks? Well done with coping with it so well and writing a poem about it too.
ReplyDelete